Comedy merchant, Opa Williams, got married officially to his wife, Patricia, a pastor in Foursquare GospelChurch,Surulere,in 1994. But, before then, they had been living together as husband and wife for four years. Their marriage is blessed with three kids. The couplespeakson their journeyinto marriage….
How I met her
I got married officially on 24 September, 1994. Come next year, I will be 20 years in marriage, though I have lived with mywife for 24 years. I met her in mysister’s saloon in 1988.You know when a man meets a woman, the next thing is for them to strike a relationship. We became friends before we started staying together. She had her first child in 1990, two years after I met her. I told her then, if I’m going to marry her, you must become born again.
I wasn’t born again but I think I knew myweakness.I felt that if I’m not strong in faith, I needed somebody who will be strong in faith. I think that was what delayed our marriage in the first place. I insisted she must be born again before I would propose to her. Then, shewas more ofachurch goer.
Attraction
She was innocent, young and respectful. These were the things that attracted me to her.
Proposingto Her
I don’t thinkI proposed to her.Onething led to another. I just said to her ‘let’s go and see your family’. That was it. I didn’t kneel down with banquet of flowers and a diamond ring to propose to her. But I knew I was going to marry her. When I insisted she mustbe born again, that’swhen it dawned on methat she was going to be mywife. We had been living together, even before we had our first child. I’m not influenced by thewestern culture.
20 years after marriage
I think tolerance and respecting each other’s space is what hasbeen keeping us in marriage. I am a showbiz man, I hold a lot of meetings at odd hours, and she’s a pastor. We agreed to pursue our individual careers. Shetold meshe hasa desire to become a pastor.I encouraged her to go ahead and actualise her dream. But she must not disturb me when I am pursuing my own career. Our marriage has been built on tolerance and allowing each other to have his/her space. I respect her spaceas well asshe respects mine.
How we live
Most times, I’m domineering because I have to dominate my house. And she respects my decisions. Sometimes, she makes her own decisions as well, and I respect them. I think problem sets in when one party wants to lord it over the other. Even though we are married, wehave our differentdestinies. She hasher destinyas ahuman being just as I have my own destiny. It is for her to fulfill her destiny just as it’s for me to fulfill mine. I will help her to fulfill her destiny and she will help me to fulfill mine. When my wife was setting up her school, she told me that’s what she wanted. I had wanted us to set up a farm. But she asked me to support her and I did. As a man, you must be in control of your house, but you must not oppress your partner. In fact, most times, it’s oppression and assertion of ‘my will and not your will’ that leads to the break up of most marriages.
I am waiting for him to join mein my ministry— Wife
I am children’s pastor at Foursquare Gospel Church, Surulere. I became a pastor in 2003. I attended aLife Bible College in 2000, and graduated in 2003. Our relationship started when I was living with my elder sister. I was veryyoungthen. Later, I got a job with Ibru Sea foods. He has been a source of encouragement to me. He is the kind of man that does not interfere in his spouse’s career. He gives you the chance to do whatever you feel would give you happiness. Because of this, I also encourage him in any project he wants to embark upon. I always pray for him and stand by him. I know God is doing wonderful things in his life and I have no doubt in my mind that one day, he will join me in myministry.
Proposingmarriage
I love him and accepted his proposal for marriage immediately. We had a child before wegot married.
What I sawin him
He’s a very brilliant person; he’s full of love and caring. Those were the things that attracted him to me. When I lost my dad in 1988, I needed somebody in my life. I came to Lagos and was staying with my elder sister before I met him. Then, he was like an elder brother to me; he was not only giving me useful advice, but, also, he was there for me. As a matter of fact, I had no choice than to fall in love with him. When you are with him, and you are faithful and committed to him, he will definitely bend his back for you.
What I don’t like about him
Will I say he’s the opposite of what I am? I love him for that, because he complements my efforts. Ifhe’snottheway heis, may be I wouldn’t havefallen in lovewith him.
Intimacy
He’s the type that doesn’t takehis familyfor granted. He ensures I’m alwayshappy. He ismybestfriend. We areverycloseto each other and that’swhat marriage isall about.
Advice to young couple
Like what I used to advice myfirst daughter who is23 now,. I always tellher that when she’s ready to settle down, she should marry somebody who will take her for whom she is; somebody who will love and cherish her. There are a lot of deceitful men out there. Myhusband wasserious with me and that waswhy I married him.
Closeness to God
Before now, he was not a strong Christian. But, today, he has come to realise that it’s good to serve God. He goes to church regularly now. He has promised to dedicated more of his time to serving his Maker and I’m very happy for him. I have been praying for God to touch him.
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